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Tuesday, December 14, 2004

7 in 1 : Seven Posts in One !!

hi friends ....

back again after a pretty long and eventful break .... my last appearance was also after a break ..... so i had put in all that happened in the gap ...

now that i write after almost 25 days ... a lot has happened ... so will try to key in everything i remember through my daily diary (yes .. i maintain my hard copy paper version of diary too ... ) .... this post is going to be a combined post for past 20-25 days ... so its gonna be a pretty loooooong one...... infact it is going to be a total of 7 posts in 1 ... I will put in Headings in between so that it will look like proper regular posts ... hehe ...

I was unable to blog for such a long time due to two reasons, one was being away from campus and subsequently being away from my 'dabba' (PC) ... and the other one being some sort of busy-ness .... busy not doing something special ... busy relaxing , , , busy resting ... ;-)

well ... after my last blog on November ... I went on a Diwali Vacation. I was home for the entire week. Sleeping ! Watching TV ! Lazy-ing around ! Doing nothing ! After the Diwali festivities, I was back in NITIE on monday for the regular the grind of lectures.


1. MICA , My Birth Day and Akshardham ! [ Ahmedabad ]

Over the weekend I had gone to MICA , Ahmedabad to participate in their event MICANVAS. It was a 3 day extravaganza. 19th, 20th and 21st.

Well ... here I would like to reveal that 20th Nov was my Birthday too. That was a very very lucky day for me. I participated in several games and won the First Prize in two games. In both games, Payal was my partner. In the evening, we both went out to celebrate my BDay. I had already talked to Chinni and she came with her husband. (It is surprising you dont know about Chinni ... I mean .. I have not written much about her in my posts ... well ... as of now .. understand that she is a very important person in my life ... details later ...) So my BDay turned out to be pretty eventful and lucky. Won cash prizes of 8000 (4000 each ... me and Payal . The cheques are yet to come ) It was a truly memorable day. Participating in events. having fun. Winning Prizes.

Before returning to Mumbai, i and Payal decided to spend our sunday at "Akshardham" ... and not in MICA. Akshardham is a place of education, entertainment and enlightenment. Its a monument, Exhibition Halls, Research Centre, Gardens, Amusement Parks and Food joints ! A complete family Picnic Spot besides education and peace of mind. Here are a few pics of Akshardham. For more information, you could visit the Akshardham website [ http://www.akshardham.com/ ]





The best part of the Ahmedabad trip was Celebrating my BDay with Chinni and her hubby and Payal. I gave a gift to chinni on her joining her first job. (i actually narrowed down choiice to purse or bangles and made her select ;-) Bangles were selected. On monday, when i was back in mumbai, chinni sent an sms telling me that she was wearing 'my' bangles to work. She made my day. She usually does. Thats why I love her soooo much. My cute little kid sister ;-)

Also, not to forget the huge decrese in my Mobile phone balance. i was on roaming paying almost 6 Rs. per call received. On my BDay, I received calls from several friends. Kind of received almost all of them bcoz they were calling from Office / Home / PCO - unidentifiable numbers. Those who were calling up from identified numbers, I cut the call and later called them up from a PCO so that they cud wish me ;-)) It was one of the nicest Bday in recent times !!


2. Placement Activities, Marriage and Life Partners !

Well ... back in mumbai ... in NITIE ... Placement activities had already started gaining momentum. Companies had started making their PPTs (Pre Placement Talks) ... In the next few days which followed I went through some personal family problems and a pre-process of a certain company ... well ... fortunately I was out after the second round of the process ... ;-))

During one of those days, I had a long chat with a close friend of mine, Manisha. We started a late night chat which practically went on throughout the night till 4.45 ... we were chatting for almost 5 hours on our individual views about marriage and about desires regarding our future life partner. It was a pretty detailed discussion with each one telling and defending about individual choice.

We even chatted about how we would fit in if we both were to consider each other for a marriage proposal. Kind of discussing our own compatibility with each other. hehe ... We did fit in well in several places but there were some differences in opinion too. Some fundamental ways of looking at life, career etc. I should admit, she is much smarter than I am (So I wouldn't want her as a life partner ... she would always dominate me ... heheheheh ... jus kiddin').

It was a real good discussion. Not only we came to know each other better, but also, we came to know what exactly we wanted and what all we were thinking. It also took our relationship / friendship one level higher.


3. MastishK 2004 and MastishK 2005 !

Some happenings on MastishK front also. The Co-ordinators (3) and Marketing team (3) of MastishK 2005 were 'elected'. I was personally not very happy at the way things had moved (with total disregard of my views and authority). These people had literally taken over the things and were going ahead in a manner in which i foresaw a lot of potentially dangerous problems for them in future. I had tried to explain them about it and i guess i had been successful in doing so before I had left for IIM Indore (Nov 3).

But when I returned froim MICA, I found that these guys had completely ignored and over-ruled the entire system and structure we had put in place. At that point, I decided to dis-associate completely with MastishK. I would speak only if consulted. i would not go and give them un-asked advise or guidance (I dont think they need it .. even if they do .. they don't think they need it... )

Also, finally I got the material and the funds from Prerana Team to go ahead with the MastishK Prizes which had been long since pending (almost 40 days since they were announced). I took help of the MastishK 2005 Co-ordinators and started working on the Packaging of Prize and the communication to go along with it. I designed a certificate and a letter that would accompany the prizes. The prizes work is all done NOW and the packages will be couriered today. This would complete my responsibility of MastishK 2004. Nothing would be left as far as M'04 is concerned.

Although I felt it was my responsibility to handover the responsibilities to appropriate guys and also ensure proper knowledge transfer; but after experienceing the attitude of the 'elected' team of M'05, I am absolutely un-enthusiastic about it. Anyway , MastishK was my baby and I have done my best for it. I have taken it to kinda unimaginable heights (2500 registrations, 17,500 Hits, 50 Corporates, 25 Countries, Fundoo website design, the wallpaper collection, Arbit Choudhury . . . . the list is endless ). Now, I have brought M'04 to its logical completion by doing the last bit (sending the prizes) !! Hoping for the best !!!


4. From 'Marriage and Life Partners' to 'Business Plans and Entrepreneurship' ;-)

You have already read about my discussion with Manisha regarding Marriage and compatibility. A few days later, we chanced upon another looong chat session. This time it was Business.

The chat began with her telling me that she was to meet some client and design some software for them. During the discussion I tolde her about a Business Idea I had in mind for a long time. A business idea related to developing a product for the industry. A kinda readymade software package for a specific application. Custimizable as per requirement. This discussion led to exploration of another similar concept too.

Later, she told me about another software product she was already working on along with a friend of hers. Another unique concept and business idea. As of now, these are but 'Ideas' ! Someday, if i get a chance, will try to convert these 'ideas' into business. Hope Manisha will be there to help me out in the technical aspect of the business plan ;-)


5. Arbit Choudhury : Phase II

Arbit Choudhury - India's First Ever B School Comic Character !

Launched on September 5th 2004 (Teacher's Day). And subsequent release of 19 comic strips during MastishK 2004.

"The Complete Collection of Arbit" document then emailed to mastishK participants and friends. The file got forwarded adn re-forwarded and re-re-forwarded. Not only in other B Schools but also in the corporate world. Slowly appreciation mails started pouring in. Everyone was asking for more. Everyone appreciated the initiative and encouraged us to go on with it. We (i and Shubham) realised that we could not stop here. We had to cater to this huge demand we had created. We decided to continue with Arbit.

As a first measure, we came up with a Special NITIE Edition of Arbit Choudhury comic strip. This was to be included in the NITIE Alumni Newsletter "Lakeside Musings" which is emailed every month to NITIE Alumni. Till now, the Nov and Dec issues have carried the Arbit Strip and we have promised to make it a regular feature.

At the same time, we received a mail from Mantej, an alumnus of PGDIM,NITIE. He was working at GE CIS. He asked if he could include Arbit strip in the GE CIS SCM Newsletter which was meant for Internal Circulation (strictly) within GE CIS. After an xchange of a few mails, Arbit found place in the "GE CIS SCM Newsletter".

To proceed in an organised fashion and makes things easier for us in future, when i and Shubham will have to work remotely (no one knows where our jobs will take us ); we first created an email id exclusively for Arbit [ arbit.mba@gmail.com ]. The next step was to have a proper circulation medium to send the regualr comic strips to the fan following. We created the arbit_mba Yahoo Group. If you want to become a member; use the following URL [ http://groups.yahoo.com/group/arbit_mba/ ]

"The making of Arbit" document was already ready. We sent this document to all our contacts, NITIE students, MastishK registered users and all those who had sent mails of appreciation. The next few days, I have seen the Membership counter rise. It has already crossed 125. I hope it crosses the 1000 mark soon in the coming months; once we start sending regular fortnightly comic strips from Jan 1st 2005.

Also, we have planned to create and launch the Arbit Choudhury Website by mid-Jan. Also, before leaving campus, we will try to do a considerable amount of wotk on the Arbit front so that we do not have anmy problems in the future, when we start operating remotely. I and Shubham will spend almost a week after placements in campus putting things in place for Arbit.


6. Wall papers ! Aha !!

Wallpapers are a thing of beauty !! My favourite past time in pre-MastishK days was downloading absolutely beautiful and stunning wallpapers from the internet. After a long long time, I went back to a few of my favourite websites and practically downloaded hundreds of wallpapers. [ www.boyis.com ]

I have always been fascinated by the wall papers created and displayed on the net. People with such amazing graphical skills creating absolutely stunning wallpapers. Its really amazing. I will try and put in some thumbnails of some amazing wall papers in the coming posts.

I hope I get time in the coming days to download many more wallpapers before I leave campus. I am surely going to miss the luxury of 2 MBPS. I am going to miss this feel of being "online 24 X 7". I will miss the IP Messenger (a communication s/w used for communication within the campus, the reason my PC is not switched off for several days on end.) I am going to miss it all.


7. Movies, Movies 'n' Movies !!

In this module, the activity to which i have religiously and regularly devoted time is 'watching movies' ! in the last module, due to MastishK. I was awake practically throughout the nights for the entire module but hardly saw a few movies. This module (being last module in campus) I have practically seen a movie every night, sometimes two movies a day too. It was part clearing my backlog and part escapism.

Yes ... Escapism. I was actually trying to avoid and run away from my 'emptiness'. The sudden situation where I had practically nothing driving me. I was just expending time. No real goal or target to achieve. Not that I did not have things to do. It was just that I was probably not emotionally ready to take up new challenges. The emotional set backs in the past 3/4 months had been too many and too severe for me.

Nevertheless ... Movies was the one thing I have been doing the entire module. Also, burned many movies onto CD's. Have burned lotsa CD's in the past month. Movies, Resources, E Books Collections, Prersonal Files etc.


Well . . . I guess here the 7-in-1 grand post of mine comes to an end.

We are having our Final Module Exams from Dec 20th to Dec 24th. And after that, the Placement Process will be at its highest momentum. We will be practically spending the entire day in Blazers, sitting either in the audi attending PPT's or in some or the other class room, undergoing pre-process of some or the other company. I will try to come back to the blog and put in some thoughts or happenings of my life. The placement process is expected to wrap up by Jan 10th. If not earlier, i will surely be back by then. With a job in my hand and (probably) joy in my heart. I am looking for a good job in Mumbai !! Pray for me.

Till the next post . . . Keep smiling and have a nice day ....

. . . shoOOonya . . .

You can send in your comments / wishes to hemantkumarjain@gmail.com !


Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Fun n Vacation !!

hi ...

I am back ... after a 2 week break i guess .... I have been away from NITIE Hostel ... away from my room ...most importantly ... away from my "Dabba" ... my PC ....

Left campus on 3rd ... went to IIM Indore to participate in IRIS ....returned on 8th ... went home .... whole week ... diwali vacation .... simply sleeping ... watching TV ... eating ghar ka khana and diwali ki mithai ....

The trip to IIM I was fun .... their new campus 22KM away from City situated on a plataeu over a small hill .... temperatures really down ....for a Mumbai'kar like me ... it was real cold .... so i eventually caught some cold ....and that cold has not left me yet .... i guess it will not leave me before i return from Ahmedabad where i will be going to participate in their event MICAnvas.

About IRIS ... it was a fine event ... we were a team of around 16 from NITIE ... I participated in quite a few games ... reached finals of a few and eventually got bailed out ... hehe .... One nice thing was NOSTRO .... the mascot of IRIS / IIM Indore .... I could relate Nostro to my child 'Arbit' .... It was nice to see how they had effectively used Nostro to guide participants around the campus .... a huge Nostro Banner was put up at a highly visible location ... the mess .... It was damn beautiful ... hats off to all those who were involved behind Nostro .... guys ... you have done a great job .... see the pic ...



(From L to R : Nitika / Ankit / Arijit / mE / Supriya / Amol / Neelesh / Alex)
<>


The pic shows Nostro in the background and in the foreground is our NITIE team with our participant co-ordinators from IIM Indore (in their IIM I jackets ...) Supriya and Amol ... Both of them were very sweet and of great help to us ...They solved all our problems and our queries and were always there to help and guide us ...the hospitality at IIM Indore was impressive ... i am impressed .... Our stay was comfortable and pleasant ... thanks guys .... I will always remember you ....

Next ... I am going to MICA with my dear friend Payal and some friends from the junior batch ..Their event MICAnavs spanning 3 days .... games ... workshops ... debates ... panel discussions ...Hope to have a lot of fun .... and yes ... its going to be very very cold out there ...hope to fight the cold with my already existing cold ;-)

keep smiling and have a nice day ....

c ya soon .... shoOOonya ...

Saturday, October 30, 2004

:: The Complete Arbit Collection ::

The Complete Collection of "Arbit Choudhury"
India's First Ever B-schol comic Character


You have read about the making of Arbit and

also about the making of the comic strips.

Here is the complete collection of Arbit Choudhury Comic Strips till date.



























































. . . Keep smiling and have a wonderful day . . .

. . . shoOOonya . . .

Feedback : hemantkumarjain@gmail.com

Thursday, October 28, 2004

:: Blood Donation ::

hi friendzz . . .

Well ... I finally managed to do it ....

Yesterday I donated Blood .... for the first time in my life .....

There was a Blood Donation drive conducted by the Rotaract Club of NITIE and I was the third person in the early morning to do it.

There have been occasions in rthe past when i got a chance to do this noble activity but missed every time. This time I had decided ... come what may ... I would definately do it ... And I did.

October 27th, 2004 .... goes down in History (my personal history i mean ...) as the day when shoOOonya first donated blood. (Fortunately I have not yet seen the day when I received blood).

Frankly it was a very nice experience. to donate blood adn to know that someday this same blood would be instrumental in saving someone's life .... Even you should do it .....


Facts About Blood and Blood Donation

• Just one person’s donated blood can help save as many as three people’s lives.
• The average adult has 10 pints of blood in his or her body.
• One unit of blood is roughly the equivalent of one pint.
• Blood makes up about 7% of your body's weight.
• A newborn baby has about one cup of blood in his or her body.
• There are four main blood types: A, B, AB and O.
• AB is the universal recipient and O negative is the universal donor.
• Blood centers often run short of type O and B blood.
• Shortages of all types of blood occur during the summer and winter holidays.
• If all blood donors gave 2 to 4 times a year, it would help prevent blood shortages.
• Blood donation takes four steps: medical history, quick physical, donation, and snacks.
• The actual blood donation usually takes less than 10 minutes.
• The entire process, from when you sign in to the time you leave, takes about 45 minutes.
• Giving blood will not decrease your strength.
• You cannot get AIDS or any other infectious disease by donating blood. Provided safety measures are taken care of by the blood collecting officials
• Fourteen tests, 11 of which are for infectious diseases, are performed on each unit of donated blood.
• Any company, community organization, place of worship or individual may contact their local community blood center to host a blood drive.
• People donate blood out of a sense of duty and community spirit, not to make money. They are not paid for their donation.
• Much of today's medical care depends on a steady supply of blood from healthy donors.
• One unit of blood can be separated into several components (red blood cells, white blood cells, plasma, platelets and cryoprecipitate).
• Apheresis (ay-fur-ee-sis) is a special kind of blood donation that allows a donor to give specific blood components, such as platelets.
• After donating blood, you replace these red blood cells within 3 to 4 weeks. It takes eight weeks to restore the iron lost after donating.
• There is no substitute for human blood.
• Since a pint is pound, you lose a pound every time you donate blood.
• Anyone who is in good health, is at least 17 years old, and weighs at least 110 pounds may donate blood every 56 days.
• It’s about Life.


So ... grab the next oportunity you get to donate blood and 'just do it'

keep smiling and have a great day ...

... shoOOonya ...

Friday, October 15, 2004

Arbit Developments !!

hi friendzz ...

In my last two post I had talked about how the character sketch of Arbit was developed .... Let me take the discussion further ... the most crucial part ... developing the comic strips ...

Mission Impossible II: Comic Character to Comic Strip

First Things First : Idea Generation

a). Think of original ideas. Days and Nights were spent pondering over humour in common B-school situations, application of management funda in real life and so on.

b). Take ideas from the environments. Ideas were taken from friends and classmates.

c). Test ideas on Humour scale. Ideas were presented to a test audience, for their feedback. Ratings were taken and finally all ides were ranked.

The Making of the Comic Strip – The Art Work – The Hard Work

a). Visualize the setting. Common B-school environs were visualized.. canteen, library, class, stairs and so on.

b). Draw draft with pencil. (This req'd loads of talent . . . . )

c). Refine Draft. The draft sketch was checked for proportions and aesthetics.

d). Finalize Draft. After all refinements, the draft was finalized by bordering with pen. At this stage, the strip looked something like this-




Adding Colour to Arbit's World . . .

a). Scan drawing.

b). Decide the colour combinations.


c). Fill colours using Photoshop. After this, the image looked somewhat like this-




d). The standardized Title Bar is then adjusted in the space designated for it in the top portion of the strip.

e). Finally, fill in the dialogues. Thus, an edition of the 1st ever B-school comic strip gets created.


The Climax :

Release of a fresh comic strip everyday during the 15 days of MastishK.
Meeting the 12 Midnight deadline. A Total of 19 Strips released till date.


The Result :

History has been created.

The First ever B School Comic Character and his Comic Strips have been launched.

Arbit was first launched on the MastishK website on September 5th for the world to see. We fix that day as the Birthday of Arbit Choudhury. Year after year, as MastishK and Arbit will gain popularity, Arbit’s B’Day will be celebrated on 5th September (Teacher’s Day) to boost the efforts put into MastishK.


Hope you have enZoyed this journey thro' the Making of Arbit Choudhury ! ! !

keep smiling and have fun . . .

. . . shoOOonya . . .

Arbit ke Pics . . .

hi friendzz . . .

In my last post i wrote about the character sketch and visual sketch development of Arbit . . .

Let me show you the first visual appearances of Arbit in informal, semi-formal and fully formal wear. . .



With these images in mind ... with the Character ready ... we were heading for a new battle .... the making of the comic strips !!

Next blog on the "Making of the Comic Strips"

. . . shOOonya . . .

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Arbit Choudhury ki kahaani ...

Hi friendzz ….

In my last blog I had promised to write about the ups and downs of my roller coaster life in the past few weeks. While in hibernation; I am also trying to gather those happy memories of the past weeks which helped me survive. So, let me write something on the brighter side of the life.

Somewhere in my previous posts I have mentioned something about creating India’s First Ever B School Comic Character. This character was created specifically for MastishK and it will continue to be an integral part of MastishK as its Mascot for years to come.

Let me narrate to you the whole process of conceptualization and development of India’s First Ever B School Comic Character and then the regular hard work put into creating the individual comic strips. This endeavor has been a very satisfying experience for me. Arbit is like a baby whom we nurtured from conception to birth and now … its growing.

Vision / Mission: To create India’s First ever B-school comic Character.


Mission Impossible I : Creating the Character

a) Decide on who should the lead character represent. As the strip was meant for B-school junta, the lead character was suitably conceptualized as a leading B-school student.

b) Decide the name of the strip/character. After much deliberation, the character was christened “Arbit Choudhury”. We went thro several sleepless nights and thoughtful days, sieved thro’ countless options, discussed several probable names before finally agreeing on Arbit.

c) Design the character sketch. The complete character sketch including the likes, dislikes, aims, aspirations, habits, behavior, talents were defined. The final character sketch was as follows-

“Arpit Choudhury is a typical 2nd Year MBA student of a leading B-school in India. His life revolves around all the daily chores of an MBA education; quizzes, tests, assignments, presentations, competitions, case studies, net-surfing, chatting, Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V are as much part of his daily routine as food, drinks, friends and girl-friends.

Sleep is word not present in his Dictionary. As any other management grad., he dreams big, and farts bigger. He often juggles with the concepts of strategy, logistics, marketing, finance etc. and tries (in vain) to apply these in real life situations.

He has come to believe that : “Management is an Art… And Art is a 4 letter word with the 'F' silent !’”.... His wisecracks frequently have everyone rolling in mirth. Perturbed by his penchant for blurting business balderdash, his friends jokingly call him “ARBIT Choudhury”

This whole stage saw a lot of discussion, argument and counter arguments between Me, shubham and Nikhil. We fought for each and every thing. We kept on fine tuning things because we knew; what we fix up today will be going to be the foundation of something big to come. And we better lay down a strong well tuned foundation.

d) Design the appearance. After the character sketch came the real visual charcter “sketch”. Shubham was entirely responsible for this part as I am in no way anywhere close to being an artist.

I remember, in third or fourth standard; in the exam we had 3 drawings of 10 + 10 + 5 marks. On evaluation, that *&&%$#$%#%$^ Art Teacher gave me only 2 marks out of 25. That ^%$$#%$@^%$^ teacher failed me. So you must have got an idea of my free hand drawing skills. (As far as engineering drawing was considered, I was amongst the best in my class and actually very good at it getting almost 23 out of 25 and consistent AA+ rating )

Moral of the Story : Shubham was the sole person responsible for creating the visual character sketch. He designed the look of the character. His face-cut, his hair-style, his facial expression, his style, his clothing …. (being a comic character; we decided to maintain the same dress throughout the comic strip; but outside the strip . . . he was the MastishK Mascot. So we gave him a semi-formal and formal look too.)

In my next post, i will describe how we went thro' the making of the "Comic Strip".

till then .... keep smiling and have a great day ....

. . . shoOOonya . . .

feedback and comments expected only on hemantkumarjain@gmail.com

Sunday, October 10, 2004

Hibernation . . .

hi friendzz . . .

I am planning to go into hibernation for the next few days ... i am emotionaly not ready for anything new at this prsent moment. Too many conflicts around me ... inside me ....

I want to simply REST for some time to let things stablize in my mind.

I have to get some things straight in my mind. Right now, I feel lonely ! Absolutely lonely with no one around. i know some people who love me and care for me will not like this statement because they are there for me. But somehow, right now I am all alone.

The feeling I have is that I am not required. Thats one reason I am withdrawing from things and people. And my last hope of being wrong was that if i am missing and people do miss me, they will either call or inquire about me and my absence.

Well ... have not received any ... I guess no one is missing me or people are simply relieved that I am no longer there to interfere in their work. They no longer have to bear me. What a relief. If that is true; i guess I have made a right decision to withdraw. Atleast I am not troubling people now. hehehe

In the past several weeks, any idea, any suggestion, any viewpoint I expressed was simply rejected, shattered, refused, criticized ..... i was getting tooooo many rejections. It was Ok in the beginning. I was taking it as part of the game. But as time passed, it became a regular feature. Everything I said was simply not acceptable. I was now getting emotionally drained due to continuous and regular rejections. Things were simply not going as planned or as intended.

Over the period of time, I felt that I was no longer in the driver's seat nor in the Navigator's seat. I was there just to do somethings as decided and deemed fit by others. Not that i mind doing that, but I was not there to do things in this way. I was not to take directions only. I was there to create a direction. And now, I find that the direction in which things are going is no where close to what I had intended.

It is very difficult fer me to express exactly what is on my mind or what is exactly the chaos i am facing in my mind. i have never been good at words after all.

But the status as of today is quie different. There was a certain authority i commanded in the project by virtue of being the Event Co-Co-ordinator. Today, i find that authority being completely ignored and insulted.

Things are happening without my consent or advice. Things which have been decided after much debate that they will happen in a certain manner, are again done in a different manner (the manner which I had opposed) without even informing me (as if it were being done undercover, assuming that I wud not come to know about it and even if i did, what the heck !! who am i to say anything abt it ....). I find a total dis-regard of my authority and at times a total dis-regard of my existence as well.

But the end result is that I am living in a feeling that I am not required. In fact my absence is a sign of relief, may be.I am personally emotionally drained. I cant take any arguments any more.

Wherever I feel, i express my opinion and inform the others that here is what i feel. Now you can do what you feel like. I personally do not have enough emotional energy to debate and prove my point beyond a certain degree. if you agree, fine. If you dont, well ... nothing new for me, do as you like. now, i hardly care.

Last 3/4 months, I have devoted 24 X 7 of my life to MastishK .....and now when it is live and running .... i am detaching myself from it.It is very painful to detach myself from my baby at this stage but I guess i better do it.

I literally have no say in how things should be. My view point is not acceptable to anyone. Rather than creating any friction, I rather let them do what they want to do with my baby MastishK.

I am right now, jotting some pointers for the junior team to whome we will be handing over MastishK.Some learnings. Some guiding path. Some things to take care of. Some starters. Some ideas.

May Be .....
I am all wrong. No one is wrong. Its only me. Its all my fault.

May be ...
My thinking and thought process and ideas are so radically different or unique that people simply cant apprecitae their significance or impact. And hence the continuous rejection because they are not ready to accept them.

May be ....
Its all wrong in my head only. All that feeling of loneliness and betrayal and disregard is only a figment of my imagination.

Whatever it is .....
I am going into a sort of hibernation ...I will remain visibly inactive in the coming days.I will remain visibly absent in the coming days.I will remain with myself in the coming days. if people around me dont need me , well ... i am not going to disturb them.

I will keep coming to post on the blog to jot down my thoughts.I feel the current times in my life are going to bring in some massive change in my life. Dunno wether the change is going to be good or bad or worse (i am fearing the worse.)

Hope to survive this chaos in my life !!

...shoOOonya...

[u can send in ur comments to hemantkumarjain@gmail.com]

Saturday, October 09, 2004

Long Time ... No See . . .

hi friendzz ...

Its been a long long time since I posted somethig on this blog. The last post dates back to 16th September; a few days before our Module 5 Exams. Our exams spanned from 20th to 27th.

Before the exams got over; MastishK site was re-launched with the description of the games on 24th itself. In the middle of the exams; I found myself working on MastishK.

After the last paper on 27th; the day when the site exploded completely adn the Event began as all the games were thrown open; i got completely immersed in MastishK. That was the reason; i did not get time to look at my blog.

The event will get over on 11th/12th and then results will be announced. The whole thing will be wrapped up by 15th and then Prerana will happen in NITIE campus. This year student participation will be high and a lot of fun and game too.

Coming back to myself .... in the past one month ... life has been a roller coaster ride !

On this day ... at this moment ... I am not Happy !! Not at all happy !!

MastishK is going on fine ... but I am not happy . . .

Several things have happened in my life in the past one month ... on so many different fronts ... it was like a period of failure ... everywhere ... i was failing ... in relationships ... in work ... in exams ... in studies ... in understanding others and myself .... everywher ... all i met with was failure . . .

of course .. there were some cute moments of happiness too ... but alas ... they were few and short ...

Will write about them one by one as time goes by ...

Once MastishK is over, i presume i will be left with quite some time for myself and my blog !!

... shoOOonya ...

Thursday, September 16, 2004

Something about Payal !

Today is 16th Sept. Let me tell you about yet another special person in my Life.
Payal ; my batch mate and the Shortest sweetest kid member in our G7.

I am a pretty cool person. I dont get angry. I dont take tension of any damn thing. I dont worry much about things. But yes, I do get iritated at times. on the whole, a very cool person who can be found usually in a very optimistic mood.

The past few weeks I noticed some change in me. I was going a bit low on tolerance. And that too only when it came to MastishK. Things were happening around me which were not exactly agreeable to me. I was unhappy. I was slightly disturbed. I realised that I was LOUD most of the times. I was in a state of dissapointment most of the times.

With exams on coming Monday, less than a week left, pressures were mounting on all. I was woried about MastishK. I never realised but MastishK had become my life in the past 3 months. I was with MastishK 24X7 ... literally.

Yesterday, I and Payal were out on the pond side on our routine evening after-snack walk. I was telling her about my dissatisfaction with the current happenings. I have been sharing with her my feelings in the past several days.

I felt I was getting Frustrated. I am not a type of person who would get frustrated so easily. But I was feeling it. I realised that I am at a juncture where my down hill journey is going to begin.

I was filled with dissapointment. i was getting irritated too easily. I was finding each of my ideas being shot down. Yes, each one of them. There was communication problem between me and Nikhil. We were somehow not understanding each others point of view and were having major dis-agreements.

There was darkness all around me (inside me)

Payal had been sensing this from several days. She spoke. She was direct. She kinda woke me up from my MastishK Slumber. She made me realise all the things I have written above. She made me realise that I needed to take charge of my life again. Right now, MastishK was in charge. I needed to put My MastishK and Myself in the drivers seat.

She did not say anything out of this world to me. It was all known to me.

BUT, if I have to light a candle in a dark room, i need a match-stick to light it up and to search a match-stick ; i need light which is already not there. I was in a similar state. I was surrounded in darkness and I cud not access my own wisdom. She pierced thro' the darkness and showed me some light.

She prevented me from going on the down-hill journey.

As this happened . . . I was reminded that Exactly One Year Five Days ago ...i.e. 10th September 2003; she had earlier done something very similar to me.

It was the Day Zero of Summer Placements for us, a lot of pre-processes were already done. Company after Company Short Lists were coming out and my name was very conspicuous its absence.

Towards the evening; 16-17 Companies had already issued their short lists and i was not in any list. No one was inviting me for a GD or a PI. Only 2/3 companies were left to announce their short list. I spent the whole day woith people; encouraging them, motivating them, wishing them luck, pedicting their short-listing / interview / selection (I was pretty good at that time. Lot of predictions turned out to be true.)

I was kinda getting dissapointed. I mean, I had never had trouble getting shortlisted in either Campus Interviews in Final Year of Engg. nor for MBA admissions ... moreover I cleared all of them. But here, I was facing a situation where I was not even crossing the first hurdle of even being given a chance to perfoem in a GD. The dissappointment & frustration had just set in when my name was announced.

Finally someone had short-listed me. But I was not in mood. I was already in the first gear on the downhill journey. Payal was on my side at that moment. She encouraged me. She said very few words. But they were enough to shake me back into reality and the REAL ME.

I washed my face and came out fresh. I decided that "I was not at all interested in giving many Interviews. I had to crack that one. I went in with my Most Positive ME ... and yup ... was given a spot offer for the summers with the company. i wouldn't have been able to do it had Payal been absent from the scene on that day. Me, the Motivator, actually needed that boost of motivation which she gave me at the critical moment.

Two occasions ... exactly one year apart (what a coincidence) ... Both occasions ... i was on the verge of getting in to the "frustrated" mode ...Both occasions she was by my side ... showing me light in darkness ... She made a big differnce in my life.

Thanks dear. You are a GEM of a friend !

Friday, September 10, 2004

:: Nirvaana : Enlightenment ::

Expectations : Root of All Problems

Now I know the source of all my problems ... hurray ....

Its ME !! Finally the culprit ... the pain in my neck , the tumour, the thorn pricking my soul .. is identified !! What a relief !!!

I cannot put it in words how it feels when you find the culprit ... who is causing the problems in your life ..! Now, at least you can blame somebody for all the problems in your life ... Its a big relief !!

In my case, I , ME , Myself turned out to be the culprit. Its 'me' who is literally 'creating' all my problems ! Yes ... I am the source, the creator, the genesis of my problems. Probing a bit further ... I found that its not entirely 'my' fault ... but my 'expectations' which are actually to be blamed ....

Moral of the story ..... 'My Expectaions are the Root Cause of All My problems'

In my last blog, i wrote abt my quest with my simultaneously present chaotic mix of emotions and feelings And no one to share with.

Now if we analyse closely ... it is My Expectation that my friend should .....
--- spend time with me
--- give me a (slightly) higher priority than other things
--- take out atleast some time for me (i know it is difficult but is it impossible ??)
--- and so on .....

All these are basically 'my personal expectaions' !

Now the question is :
why should someone do something just because i expect him/her to do ??
Why should someone change his/her priorities for Me ??

There are other more important people in their life to spend time with ... there are more important things to do than to waste time on ME ...

And just b'coz i keep relationships on top most priority and take time oput for them .. somehow .. anyhow ... does not mean that I start expecting others to do the same !!

Just because I feel that meeting face to face is important in a relationship does not mean that others also have to believe so. For some, even a message sent thro electronic media is as good as a face to face talk.

What if I believe in the philosophy of celebrating even the smallest moments of happiness to convert them into memories. I am a big fool to expect others to agree. They might feel it is a waste of time , effort and energy to indulge in such samll mementary celebrations. They might want to celebrate only the final result or the grand victory and also its not necessary that they might want to celebrate it with me.

Just b'coz i jump with joy when i have some good piece of news and catch hold of my best friends (they are so few ...) adn tell them and share with them first .... this does not give me the right to expect that others will also do the same ... They might not feel it is necessary ... or i might not be the One who is in their first's list ... They might not feel that I m imporatnt enough to waste time with ... not important enough that they come to me personally and share their joy .... a message sent or news relayed should be good enough ....

So ... its all my expectation .... so the problem is ultimately with me and not with anything or anybody. Its me who is creating problems for myself.

But i m Lonely ... Not because i m alone ... but because people who matter to me are absent.There is no one around with whom i can talk my heart. The One with whom i can relate soul to soul.

In fact I m missing the One in my life more than any body. The One person who wud understand me and share some moments with me.

I am surrounded by a crowd but still i am lonely. I am part of the G7 (Me, Nikhil, Tappu, Payal, Ashi, Medda, Shubham) but still 'I' am lonely. The 'real Me' .. yhe one which is directly connected to the soul ... that 'me' is lonely .... and its a loneliness which is eating me up gradually.

And who is to be blamed ?????
My friend; who is unable to give me due time and priority ???
Nopes... Not at all !!

The problem is that I expect to be in continuous or at least regualr company / touch with my friend . Anf that is not happening !So I am alone ... and that non fulfillment of my expectations is my problem !!

I guess i have turned out to be a big zerO (shoonya) as far handling this situation is considered .... !!

And yet again ....
I cannot write any further ...
There is extreme chaos in my mind ...

tears overflowing and crossing their confining limits ...

. . . And i got to survive it . . . . somehow . . . . anyhow !!

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Caught in an Emotional Tornado !

I am confused !!

Yes ... i m confused . Confused b'coz in the past few days / weeks i have experienced a whole range of mixed feelings ... and the trouble is that all the emotions are present simultaneously .

Its not that i was happy for some time and then sad for some and then bored for yet another period ...

It was more like i was happy , sad , hurt , excited , frustrated , bored , depressed , motivated , fearful etc ... all at the same time. All these emotions were simultaneously present within me. They surfaced either alone or several simultaneously at different times of the day in different contexts with different triggers.

Infact, the whole August of 2004 has been the most emotionally charged month for me in the last Silver jubilee years ... (i celebrated my silver jubilee BDay last Nov.).

The range of emotions that have affected me in the last month and the way they have affected me ... are mind boggling (for me at least ... )... and the biggest trouble is thatthey still continue to do so .....

My parents had warned me that August was a "heavy" month for me and i should be careful. What i thought was that i might encounter soem kind of accident or loss of money or belongings. I never thought (nor my parents did) that i was going to be in the middle of an emotional tornado. Of course, they know nothing about it even now. I have never discussed emotional matters with them.

Being involved on MastishK ... i was constantly thinking abt it. Its like my baby. i have seen it grow from conceptualisation to realization.And it has grown in my hands and in my mind. It is very much a part of me today. I am emotionally attached to it... completely. Every decision made in its context touches my heart. Infact, mastishK drains quite a boit of my emotional energy. The trouble being ... i m not finding anyone to help me re-charge myself. I am constantly discharging without any re-charger.

By Recharger ... I mean someone with whom i cud share the deeepest feelings of my heart. Someone who cud understand me and my thoughts ... who cud become a mirror for me. Someone who cud tell me "How was I" ?? [ If you were to ask me 'How are you ?' ... my answer will always be 'First Class' or 'fantastic' .... but in the last few weeks ... this has not been true ... and there is no one to understand and share that with me ... ] ...

That itself is more emotionally taxing. Struggling with a emotionally disturbed heart ... crying like a baby (literally) late into the night .... What do i want ... a friend who wud listen to me ... console me ... understand me ... talk to me .. "me" - the one hidden deep inside the external me ... can HE give me One ...

At this point ... i wud like to mention that when it comes to playing zokes ... HE has a terrible sense of humour ... or may be a wicked sense of humour .... may be u dont agree .... maybe he is biased towards me ... maybe I am the chosen one .. the guinne pig (never mind the spelling) .... but he has the habit of giving me "unbelievabe gifts" in the form of very very close friends ... and then with a twist in the story ... he takes them away .... nice strategy ... its like drug addiction ... it is heavenly and when a person gets used to it and cannot live without it ... take it away ... and watch the person squirm in pain ... HE is a sadist ! !

Coming back to the Re-charger ... I have many friends and some good friends too. But talking about someone with whom i cud actually discuss my deepest emotional problems.... well ... very few ... too few ....

One was my very dear sister out here in the campus. Alas ... she has left campus and now in far off lands. Also, i cannot and do not want to disturb her with my troubles. She has entered a new phase of her life and has enough challenges of her own. I somehow do not want to trouble her with my silly problems ... (yes ... my problems seem to be silly to those who know abt it ...). She might be having enough of her own.

Another was the new friend i have written about in my previous blog. She is simply too busy. She is not there for me for extended periods. I have waited to spend some time with her but it does not happen. I have asked several times ... but spending time with me is a luxury ... which she probably cannot afford these days.

And something strange is happening now. I wish to meet her or spend time with her and it simply doesnt happen. There is a lot of dissappointment , doubt over the strength and significance of the relationship , unhappiness , frustration !As days pass and i am unable to even communicate with her ... the dissappointment and frustration levels rise ... peak and reach such a level that when i m actually meet her or talk to her ... although i m happy .... the happiness is completely buried and overshadowed by the sadess due to frustration and dissappointment.

Overall ... we hardly see other and when we do ... my face shows expressions which are
exactly not 'glad' !


I m losing ... i m losing a friend ... maybe b'coz of my own stupidity (as someone might call it) !

There are times i think that i m troubling her by being the way i am. Rather than troubling her .. why not i simply withdraw from her life and let her live in peace ... dunno ... i suddenly find myself just giving her emotional trouble. I hate myself for doing that to the One who is closest to my heart.

We have shared one of the best moments of my life. talking to each other ... Just being present for each other.. i miss them. I miss them terribly. And somehow I have this very dangerous inkling feeling that such moments are never to happen again in my life. they will remain forever locked in my memories. I will miss them thro'out my life . . . .

I even started thinking that MastishK was causing that. MastishK was keeping me busy and so maybe .....But then although MastishK is keeping me busy ... I have never been so busy that i was unanble to spend time with any friend who asked for some ... Nope .. it has hardly happened. I might not be visible but in this age of communiaction thro the mobile ... i guess i m always accessible.

It might seem that this is turning out to be a Hate-Blog for her .... but it is not so ... i know she is busy and also understand ... (as i always do .. and am expected to do) ... But the trouble is that it simply doesnt go down my throat that someone can be sooooooo busy that taking out time for some imporatnt people in life becomes impossible. i dunno ... in my priorities ... people and friends (basically ... relationships ) are at top priority ,,,, nothing ... absolutely nothing goes over them ..... i guess .. thats not true or same for others ...

There are things of higher priority in their life as compared to me ... I am just one of the priorities in the list and not "the priority" !I do understand that just because someone is in my highest priority ... I should also be their highest priroty .... but then Expectations are always there ................

I write this blog in an attempt to understand my own feelings ... to try and understand the source of my problems ... I guess its ME ...

Also ... i need to talk ... i hate talking to myself ... when i do ... i talk all negative .... (although i m a very positive and optimistic person ...) ... so i m talking to my blog .... maybe my blog cannot respond to me but atleast it has the time to listen to me ... maybe thats all we want from our friends ... time ... and i guess ... i m not going to get it .....

This all emotional confusion and chaos is affecting my behavior too . . . i guess i have been a bit perpetually irritated in the past month. People around me must have felt that. (so sweet of them not to mention it to me ...).

Sometimes I dont know ... whether i m busy so i m becoming like that OR I m becoming like that so I m keeping myself so busy !!

I want to talk more ... but words fail me ... My mind is clouded again by a mix of emotions ... love .. hate ... like .. dislike .. My mind is like this blog .... too many colours .... and the background is all BLACK ... DARK .... somehow which signifies a Hope-less situation.

I find myself laughing at myself ..... I am a firm believer of "Hope is the Rope to Success" .... and here i am ... taking abt being in a hope-less situation .... hehe ... well ... thats a reflection of the state of my mind ! ! !

There is chaos in my mind ... total chaos ... and i got to survive the chaos ...

. . . shoOOonya . . .

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

MastishK Site Phase II is Up .. whew !!

hi friendzz ....

I have been absent from the blog circuit for quite a while ... and the reason i already mentioned in my last blog ... MastishK ,,, Its keeping me very busy .... i am working most of my time ... no time wasting .. hardly any sleep ... thinking all the time ... my MastishK is working 24 X 7 on Mastishk ....

The last 10 days have been very very hectic ... the junior teams were busy and so i and nikhil were left with very few 'technical' hands to work on the website. We had to launch the second phase of MastishK .. open up the registrations and launch the Informalzz section along with India's First ever B School Comic character "Arbit Choudhury" !

I hardly slept ... attending the minimum reqd lectures and coming back to my terminal and designing pages ... awake till 5 or 6 am in the morning and then going to sleep for 2/3 hours ....

In the past few days ... one thing i realised was that i was suddenly finding an enormous amount of energy within me to continue to work ... this came as a shockinhg realization b'coz i am basically a lazy person ... i realised that the source of my energy was nothing but the pure passion within me to make mastishK a very BiiiiG success .... pure unadulterated passion ...

At the same time... the flip side of the whole thing ... i havent touched books in this entire module ... exams are just 12 days away and i dont know a thing about anything ... i dont know how m i going to sail or drown thro the exams .... but the satisfaction of seeing MastishK up on the net is something which is right now blocking my mind ... i m still not realising the gravity of the situation ... i will need to study ...

and yes ... how cud i miss this ... we got a new URL for mastishk .... its ...

http://mastishk.nitie.net/

the old url will also remain active ...

http://prerana-nitie.com/mastishk

u shud have a look ... register yourself .... see the informalzz section ... enZoy ...
and yes ... I am waiting for your feedback ... do write in ... hemantkumarjain@gmail.com
or leave a comment on the blog ....

keep smiling and have a nice day ....

Monday, August 30, 2004

MastishK : The Mind : The Brain !

hi friendz...

The wait is over ... i promised to write about MastishK ... so here it is ....


Well, MastishK is the name we have given to the Online Event we have started this year from NITIE (my B School .. hope u remember ... I m doing my MBA) ... This idea originated from Nikhil (my baychmate ... i have written abt him in the earlier post) and then we have been working together on it ....

A few days ago ... on 23rd August, we launched the homepage of the site in the wee hours of the morning when the sunrays were not yet visible but the bird had started their morning chirping.

It was like a dream come true. Although the website will be relaeases in phases like software versions... but the uploading of the home page on the intrernet server and the access of the page to the outside world marked the first major step for the realisation of our dream.




You can check out the
MastishK Website

do send your feedback to
hemantkumarjain@gmail.com

I recommend you also visit the
MastishK Team Blog.

There you can read my posts to know My side of story. Reading the whole blog in chronological order (right from the first ) will reveal a saga which began with an idea and metamorphised into a grand online event beyong our initial imagination.

I need not write much about MastishK out here in my Personal blog. Instead here i will continue to write about my personal life, its learnings, how others affect me and how i affect others. What changes MastishK has bought in my life ... what ripples it has created in my relationships ... etc etc ...

so i guess i will end this post here .... hope you enZoy the MastishK blog as well the Website .... I invite you to see the website and participate in the games n all .. I can promise you fun , entertainment adn learnings in the website !!


MastishK website AND MastishK Team Blog

Feedback : hemantkumarjain@gmail.com

keep smiling and have fun .... shoOOonya ...


Friday, August 27, 2004

Relationships Renewed - Time Play

hi friendz...

yesterday morning i wrote about relationships ... time dependancy ... mumbai monsoon ... beach fun ... wet jeans ... etc .... let me take it a little further ... .

i slept after 5.30 .. managed to get up b4 8.30 and reach class just 2 minutes after the deadline of 9.05 .... we were all around 12 at that time ... the prof was not ready to let us in ... we were trying to convince him to let us in ... as time passed ... more came in ... we were finally 22-23 (a sizable number considering our class of 86) ... the prof let us in telling us that this was the last n final time ... next week onwards ...
0905 means 0905 ... doors closed ... "Dont even Think about it "

well .. back from class .... he gave a good news ... no lecture tomorrow ... so in effect No Lectures' tomorrow ... i m not so happy because i m getting a free day ... but because i m getting a day when i can concentrate on MastishK (i know i havent told you what it is is .... just a little more patience ... i m going to write my next blog exclusively on MastishK ... promise) .

today night also ... afetr doing a lot of MastishK work .. i slept at 5:30 .. woke up at 11:45 am ... Good Afternoon ... i said to myself ... these days my bilogical is going hay wire ... completely ... day time dozing in class ... full night outs with sleep in tiny gaps ... hmmm ... more tiring times ahead .. anyway ... cut to topic of discussion of this blog.


well ... a little more on relationship ....

in the previous post i wrote abt a new friend in the junior batch with whom i share a strange chemistry ... i wrote abt how our friendship could go to unimaginable heights but is now constrained by time ...

let me also write about old relationships which were renewed ... after all ...
OLD is GOLD . . .

A relationship ... born in Dec 1999 ... long lost due to communication ... and then suddenly renewed after my coming down to NITIE ... and now ... WOW .... there is something very wonderful about his one ... a friend sooo close ... she knows everything about me ... and i know everything about her ... we understand each other sooo well ... there are times when we just need to look at each other and a few words are sufficient to let the other person know the whole story ... sometimes ... even the words are redundant ....

Our relationship has gone thro' many swings .. ups and downs ... there were times when we felt we have come too close to each other ... times when we feared we were falling in love ... (which wud be a problem as we cannot formulate living with each other for a life time ;-) ... in fact there was a time when my batchmates adn others in NITIE campus had assumed that she was mnot only my 'girlfriend' but we were engaged too ... not only 'aam junta' ... my friends were also thinking the same ;-)

There were times when i was tooo busy in MastishK or shoOOonya talkies (ooops ... i havent written abt that either ... promise ... st comes after M...) and i cud not give her time ... she was furious ... she felt neglected ... and then ... she got busy and was unable to give me time .... That was the time when i lived in a constant fear that i had lost her friendship to my busy-ness ....

well ... such is our relationship ... both of us dependant on each other for emotional and moral support. We know that the other one is always there ... The trust we have in each other is the greatest gift ... i cud go on writing about her and our relationship but let me keep it short .. i guess u have got the point ...



yet another set of relationships born in NITIE ... a set of friends who remained friends and acquantances (not sure if this spelling is write .. ooops .. right) .... suddenly in the second year ... we have come under one umbrella of MastishK .. by chance or by design ... and now i find myself a part of that family ... we 7 ... Lucky 7 .. who went to the Gorai Beach ...

Nikhil 'Bill G@te$ Kulkarni , Shubham 'The Jackal' Choudhury, Milind 'Tappu' Tapaswi, Sourjyendu 'KuchBhi' Medda, Payal 'Baby Steps' Chandna, Ashita 'EarPhoneRadio' Mittal and of course Me .. Hemantkumar 'shoOOonya' Jain .... Its an awesome gang of 7 individuals ...

I have found life long friends in these guys and gals .... each one is unique ... different down to the core ... each one has his/her own line of thought ... each one gelling so well in the group yet maintaining their individuality ... one is forever lost in the Pune .. other one is worried about Mankind . one trying to get along with the new new sophisticated electronic gadgets in baby steps ... still other enzoying life with music (literally 24 hours of the day ... the earphones are no longer accessories ... they are part of the body) ... someone is the 'king of Pun' and the others simply having a lot of fun ;-)

Together ... we think ... we talk .. we walk ... we discuss ... we argue ... we have fun ... its all so 'feel good' .... and i really feel good about it ... MastishK has given me a set a very very good friends .... infact .. thats is the biggest gift i have got from MastishK besides other fringe benefits like experience of handling projects, Leadership, Team Dynamics, runnning Organisations, Creative Creations etc.

Thanks to all of u guys ... i am having one of the best times of my life ... out here in NITIE ... along with you all ...

P.S. hey guys .. i guess you all are fed up of living in suspense abt MastishK ... here is a sneak preview ... will write abt it in coming blogs ...

http://www.prerana-nitie.com/mastishk/

keep smiling and have a great day ahead ....

comments invited and welcome ... hemantkumarjain@gmail.com